Life's Biggest Lessons (so far)

Life is full of lessons, and sometimes we wish we had learned some earlier than we did. This week's episode covers the life lessons Scott and Tammy have learned over the years. How will you use these lessons to aid your future decisions?

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Meet your hosts:
Tammy K Rogers
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tammerarogers

Scott Burgmeyer
https://www.linkedin.com/in/burgy

Other Resources:
http://www.creativesolutionsgp.com
http://www.aveeapartners.com
http://chiefoptimizationofficer.com/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the Leadership Line, a podcast that covers everyday work issues. From dealing with jerks at work to feeling burnt out, Tammy and Scott's experience, along with their different perspectives, help listeners grow, examine realistic options and alternatives, and identify those actionable solutions to the tough issues we face every day at work.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

So life is full of lessons. When it comes to lessons you've learned, which ones do you feel like you learned way too late in life?

Tammy 0:32

That is a very interesting question. I like it a lot, Courtney. So think about this for just a minute. I am 61 years old. I have lived a lot of life at this particular time period, and I have had a tremendous number of lessons. So I don't know. Scott, do you want to start or do you want me to start?

SPEAKER_00 0:56

When Courtney was doing the intro, where my brain went was working for corporate America as long as I did.

Tammy 1:04

Oh, that is not something. Think about all these corporations that we serve. Yes, please don't go work for the man.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

And then I'm like, oh no, probably can't say that one.

Tammy 1:17

No, well, you just did.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Already did. I I would almost say it is truly it's not as bad as it seems.

Tammy 1:26

So funny because mine was there's a season for everything, and this season too will pass.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

We all go through tough things, and we will continue to go through tough things. Part of it is it is what it is. Part of it is, I think when we were talking with Marlowe, we were talking about, you know, as a leader, you have a responsibility to not panic. And you think of how I think of like there are shows and movies where it's like all the world's coming to an end. Oh, we should evacuate. And they say, Well, actually, that would do more harm than good. So do nothing. And it really is the we don't want to instill panic. You know, how do you remain calm when there's crap that needs to be done or there's this really yucky scenario?

Tammy 2:12

Do you know the the piece about that is sometimes you as an individual are going through a difficult season, and that might be because of a relationship that you're in, or it might be because of a stage where your your children are in, and those types of things. Organizations go through difficult seasons, peaks and valleys. And there is always a learning lesson in a valley. And that learning lesson in that valley is going to help you to in your life to continue to climb the next peak and to be at the top. So whether that is an organizational lesson that we have to learn, a department lesson that we have to learn, an individual lesson that we have to learn, one of those things is to remember peaks and valleys are part of life. That downtime or whatever that is going on right now, it is simply a path that you have to walk through to the other side. And if you continue to keep walking and you continue to look for the opportunity of the learning lesson in that space, you will eventually start getting on higher and higher ground. And that low time will be over. And that's that piece is when you look back over your life, you'll find that those low times, well, they sucked, they were temporary, and in the long-term view, they were short. And I think that is one of the biggest learning lessons that has been very helpful for me at this particular age, because I have had some terrible valleys. Situations with organizations, situations with people broke my heart. And there was a gift on the other side of that. And when I found it, I went to high ground. So that's that is one of my also one of my big learning lessons. Right. Um, there's another one for me, and it's organizationally. Um you're not stuck. Sometimes we think there are no choices. And it's like, I, you know, I have no choice, I have to. I have no choice, I must stay in this job, or I have no choice, I must leave this job, or I have no choice, my boss told me to do this thing. I think that we always have choices. There are consequences to our choices. But remembering that when you have a choice and you make a choice, you are in control of your own destiny and you are this person that is literally making that choice to fit with you, where you're at, what's important to you, your value set, all of that. You may have to deal with negative consequences. You may have to deal with positive consequences. In this space, though, you always have a choice. So choose and then go through the journey that that choice takes you to. And I think that is a huge thing that people miss, that they think it's happened to them and that there's nothing they can do, versus making choices and then walking through that choice. That's another one of my big learning lessons.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

I would say for me, the the the other one I think of is be around the people you want to become.

Tammy 5:55

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

And to really be thoughtful about those that you spend the most time with are likely those that you're going to become, or you're going to start to adopt some of their some of their traits and behaviors and and nuances. And is that who you want to be? And again, I what do you want to be known for? Sometimes you got to make the tough choices. I think in the last three or four years, I can think of people who I really thought were good friends and how they behave, how how they handle themselves. I learned, no, they're not. We've grown in different ways. You know, we're not aligned, and it it was tough to say, okay, we're we're not going to be in conversation anymore. And the sad thing is, I miss them and I miss the conversation, and I feel like I'm in a better place.

Tammy 6:53

That learning lesson, when I love people, I love them. I mean, I love them deeply and fully and with everything in my being. And I don't have a huge circle, I have a pretty narrow circle of people that kind of fit that. And when I have to transition from one to the next, right? Like I need to leave that relationship behind for whatever reason. And sometimes, to be honest with you, they chose that decision for us. And sometimes I chose that decision for us. I still yearn for some of those people in my life. I still love them years, years, years later. And there is a time and a place for everything, and relationships don't last forever. And if that relationship is not healthy for one or the other of you, then that is a relationship that you need to give up and move to that next place. Not with anger, not with you know, trying to slash your way out of it, but in a place where you leave each other with dignity and respect. And so, yeah, I have that too. People that I miss still love. And it's probably better for both of us. Yeah. Wow. This one got deep and intense. Oh, but it's also really good learning lessons, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:27

And I think if you step back and you think, okay, yeah, we taught we each talked about different learning lessons we've had. I I still go back to it's it's the use of the growth question. And it's the use of the growth questions in these different scenarios and being very honest about what went well or what's going well, what's not going well, and what am I going to go do different? What and I think there's maybe a fourth one that says, What what do I want to be, or what outcome do I want to get?

Tammy 8:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

That I need to tie back to those questions to say to navigate because sometimes, yeah, sometimes you sometimes you're going to break up with people. And sometimes they need to they need to break up with you. Sometimes you need to break up with them. Sometimes you need to leave a job. Sometimes you need to leave a job and take the time to to find yourself and evolve. Because it is an evolution.

Tammy 9:24

And sometimes you need to not be so quick and to take some time to figure out if that's the right thing and see if this is just a valley that will come back and we'll end up being in a peak. Because you don't have to leave immediately. So, what's interesting, Scott, when you say it that way, I I actually read an article the other day, and it was talking about the fact that we in the way kind of society is right now with technology and with the way that we work, we don't very often allow our brains to just wander. So, you know, we have our phone and I'm doing whatever is on that phone, and we have a television set and I'm doing whatever the television set says, and I'm working on a project. We don't actually give ourselves the space to just wander and think. And in fact, because we're not practicing it very much, we get uncomfortable. It's like, oh my gosh, um, I don't have anything to do. I gotta fill my brain with something. And the the article that I read talked about the research that says when we actually don't take the time to think, we don't learn how to think deeply. We learn how to react, we learn how to respond. We don't learn how to think deeply and ask some of these important questions. Where do I want to land? What is important to me? What work brings me joy? What people bring me joy, what makes me calm and fills my soul? We get busy and we don't take the time to ask some of these bigger questions that help us make better choices. And maybe that's the other piece, a learning lesson at this side of 60 is you know what, being shallow as a parking lot puddle is not very interesting.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Sorry, I've not heard that analogy before. And then I was thinking about the parging lot puddles we saw in uh Alaska, where it was like, you know, could have hit a couple bodies in them.

Tammy 11:38

That's a big puddle. But really, like depth, right? Depth actually leads to you making better choices about the kind of human you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, right? Uh shallowness is not very interesting and it's not very satisfying.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

And that wraps up this week's episode of the leadership line. As always, feel free to reach out to us in the emails provided in the podcast description box, or reach out to us on LinkedIn also in our podcast description box. Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next week.